I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
