Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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