My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
