its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
