No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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