How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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