I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
