I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
