How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
