Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
