honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
We just shotgunned beers for America
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
