have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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