one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
