HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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