the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
My pussy is not your playground.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
