Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
