and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
