Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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