I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
