She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
