so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
