Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Bring me that man meat
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize