thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
