it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
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He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
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I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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