Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
