Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
