haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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