you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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