just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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