We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
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At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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