I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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