bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm really busy with my period
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