So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
im on a boat
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