In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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