Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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