what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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