i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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