I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
