hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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