Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
