I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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