my phone needs a breathalizer
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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