I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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