he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
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i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
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I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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