Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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