if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks