Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
im having a threesome with these popsicles
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.