The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
