dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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