I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
he high fived his dick after we had sex
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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