My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
