Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
