Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
