I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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