you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
