what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
