And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
